BORN: November 23, 1979, England GIRL MOST LIKELY TO: Be marooned on an island with Billy Zane’s phallic-phantom. T&A GRADE: When Kelly and her killer chest-cannons are left to fend for themselves on Survival Island (2005, spread), clothes go by the wayside and she’ll have you pitching a hut. Ms. Brook’s stranded suck-sacks are so bouyantly beautiful, it’s a wonder it never occurred to her to simply float home!
GIRL MOST LIKELY TO: Give your local crystal-meth dealer a lap-dance.
T&A GRADE: This dopamine-diva had us cranking our narcoleptic nose-hose as a dick¬dipping stripper in the head-bending Spun (2002, spread), a film that provided plenty of meth-od behind the madness. Whether she was polishing her stripper pole or simply bound to the bed, Chloe’s sweat-tweaking twat had us simmering and ready to blow!
BORN: April 6, 1983, Miami, FL GIRL MOST LIKELY TO: Bust any bra that attempts to contain her delicious double-Ds. T&A GRADE: This too-cool-for-school cutie is ready to move to the head of the Hollywood class of big-breasted b-movie bombshells. Catch a close-up of her all-day- suckers in Wedding Crashers (2005, opposite bottom), and her crotch-creaming turn in Hot Tomale (2006, this page and opposite top).
BORN: January 29, 1980, Scottsdale, AZ GIRL MOST LIKELY TO: Be chosen as poon-mate of the month.
T&A GRADE: With the topless co-ed casting as the one of the creamiest college dream girls in recent mamm-ory, this Dorm Daze (2003, spread) debutante had every classmate trying to spread her centerfold. Ms. Lohmann’s double-d breast-batteries always cum in handy when the lights go out.
BORN: January 14, 1975, Hollywood, CA GIRL MOST LIKELY TO: Have you grasping your palm-tree at the sight of her coconuts. T&A GRADE: Before Jordan had us groping our own clubs in the killer-swinger farce Club Dread (2004, spread), Ms. Ladd’s tanned milk-missiles were heating up the great out- whores in Cabin Fever (2002). Your little lap- ladd will be the first blunt instrument you grab watching this murder-by-beaver blast!
BORN: November 8, 1972, Deep River, CT GIRL MOST LIKELY TO: Yet again cover-up her fresh-man flesh for six very long years. T&A GRADE: Gretchen took a blue-balled break from baring her b-cup beauties in between her ass-flashing foray in 1999’s Forever Mine and her solid performance as The Notorious Bettie Page (2005, spread). The wait was well worth it, as Mol’s mini- mamms passed our phallic-exam.
BORN: April 23, 1979, Omaha, NE GIRL MOST LIKELY TO: Somehow make death—and Mickey Rourke—look good.
T&A GRADE: We were all smiles watching Ms. King’s skin turn in Happy Campers (2001, this page and opposite top), but it was her role as Goldie in Sin City (2005, opposite bottom), that truly earned our one-armed applause. Her bronzed-boobs were the only identical twins that Sin City needed!
BORN: October 7, 1981, Los Angeles, CA GIRL MOST LIKELY TO: Lick any lucky lass whose ass crosses her cat-fighting path.
T&A GRADE: This purring princess of pantyhose pugilism is an up & cummer on the softcore scene whose double-d display is the undisputed champ in a class of heavy- bag hitters. The titty-twisting tangle Office Pantyhose Catfight (2004, spread) caused a new kind of pantyhose run
BORN: September 27, 1979, Hungary GIRL MOST LIKELY TO: Somehow make the use of umlauts seem oh so sexy.
T&A GRADE: Zita had us pining for her pink-pita as this model turned man-eater showed off her moist-mane in the Den of Lions (2003, this page). Ms. Gorog’s flesh flashes in the flithy-film flick 8MM 2 (2005, opposite page) make one thing clear: She’ll never go (to) Hungary again!
BORN: January 8, 1977, Latina, Italy
GIRL MOST LIKELY TO: Have her midfield overrun by Italian bailers looking to score! T&A GRADE: This full-figured Italian had our mini-stallion racing for her spellbinding meat-mamms in The Witch Affair (2003, spread). The bewitching movie is filled with black cats, mayhem and murder. But we still couldn’t take our eyes off Manuela’s curves, or the only black kitty that mattered—her’s!
GIRL MOST LIKELY TO: Have you wishing you are reborn as a bicycle seat.
T&A GRADE: Anna’s naughty-nympho bride-to-be in Frivolous Lola (1998, spread), which was directed by the ass-master Tinto Brass, showed us just how hard it is to wait to wank on your wedding night. This horny bride will make it difficult for all the groom’s friends to be the best-man. By sticking to his wall-to-wall-nudity guns, Tinto proves he has not only literal but figurative Brass balls!
BORN: April 20, 1979, Odessa, Ukraine GIRL MOST LIKELY TO: Put the ass in
T&A GRADE: This seductive Soviet siren sizzled as an irresistible temptress in Cheeky (2000, spread), a titillating and tantalizing T&A tale directed by the menstruation- maestro Tinto Brass. Now that the cold war is over, Yuliya will warm your missiles and keep them aimed at her primary target.
GIRL MOST LIKELY TO: Use her gore- geous breasts to sooth your mini-matador. T&A GRADE: This exotic import from Spain kept her cool in the Face of Terror (2003, spread) by shedding her threads and shaking her milk-making maracas. This penis picador brandishes her succulant suck-sacks until our salsa-sticks are hot and spicy. We’re bullish on the future of this Iberian ideal, thanks to her Hemingway-worthy hooters and a killer carnal instinct!
BORN: July 3, 1979, France
GIRL MOST LIKELY TO: Put the wardrobe
department out of work.
T&A GRADE: Sagnier’s signature skin had our juices dripping in Love Drops on Burning Rocks (2000, bottom and oppostie top). Next, in the full-frontal faves La Petite Lili (2003, below and top) and Swimming Pool (2003, opposite bottom), Ludivine proved that nudity is sometimes all the plot you need!